bah

i'm back at work. i'm tired. and my eyes are sore. i think i've been frowning for the past 14 hours or so. and i don't really care if you peeps say i'm getting whiney again. coz this is how i really feel.

i didn't get a good night's sleep. and that was really coz i was in a bad mood. i was disgusted. perhaps with others. perhaps with myself.

i got home at bout 935 then did some heavy reading till almost 1. i dunno. when i feel emotionally unstable i just immerse myself in work and information. perhaps that's the problem. i've been using too much of my head and too little of my heart.

i see the lies and hypocrisy around me and i can't bring myself to trust anyone. i don't even trust myself. maybe coz i cheat myself too much. denial you could say. i know i'm a hypocrite to a certain degree. but ah well.

solitude. i love it. i hate it. i could do with a thousand years of it but i doubt i could bear with more than a day alone without some form of an outlet.

my eyes are sore. the tears refuse to come out. too much intraocular pressure. glaucoma here i come.