i forgave but i can't forget.

in fact, it's more like, i forgave, that's why i can't forget. life is a pack of lies. even someone i don't know, bernard, lied to me that he was passing-by on my tag board. why is life like that. why i can't i just let go. maybe coz i know deep down you can't either. i dunno. who knows. 16 days. and counting. in these trying times, the stress from school, the pain from training, my mind wanders. searches. seeks something or someone it can find solace in or from. inevitably, as if on auto-pilot, my overly migrained brain wanders in the same direction. can't it just change it's orientation? [not in that perverted way i know some of you guys are thinking]

First in my thoughts, is God. in pain during training, i said a little prayer. then guess what next came to mind? my mom is screaming her head off at me right now. have to shut down. going down to warm up supper for myself. my tummy is repulsive. but i don't care.