i'm sorry. nothing was intentional. i'm the kind of person who needs to talk bout things.. who needs to express himself.. who is emotionally dependent and weak..
i've always had a problem with trust. those who know me long enough would know that. its worse than ever before. my insecurity problems have resurfaced with every hurting day. every second that ticks by. it took me an eternity to develop trust in a person. i thought it was a god send. that i was so fortunate. that finally. i had a friend.
no. i don't feel betrayed. i don't feel like i've been wronged. no one is at fault. no one is guilty. but i do feel that i have been misunderstood. that pple don't really know me.
i'm emotional. i'm sensitive. i've cooped up for too long. bottled everything up. i need to talk. but i have no true friends to talk to. no one i can really confide with. maybe its my fault. i can't trust. but how do you expect me to do that when my circle of trust [to quote the movie meet the fockers - to me it just means close true friends] is constantly broken again and again.. i dunno how to deal with shattered friendships.. i really don't..
i'm a man. so what. i cry. i feel. i hurt. all the same. i'm mun. the mugger. the prefect councilor. so what. i still hurt. i still feel the same way anyone else does.
i still care. that's why i'm still hurting. smarting from it all. that's why i can't let go. but how long will this last? think bout that.. i still value you.. the friendship.. for now. feelings fade. as all of us know. i can't help but ask. are you worth it? just as you did. unbelievably, after all the pain, i still think so. coz i believe that it hasn't been the real you. i've been trying to convince myself that you are who i thought you were. that you are just upset bout the whole thing. bout me. but that's ok. i've been guessing for 2 whole weeks already. i've been in the dark. in the shadow. it's okay. it's okay. it really is.
emotionally scarred. insecure. upset. depressed. confused. shattered. broken.
how am i ever supposed to trust again? to befriend again? to love again?
i've always had a problem with trust. those who know me long enough would know that. its worse than ever before. my insecurity problems have resurfaced with every hurting day. every second that ticks by. it took me an eternity to develop trust in a person. i thought it was a god send. that i was so fortunate. that finally. i had a friend.
no. i don't feel betrayed. i don't feel like i've been wronged. no one is at fault. no one is guilty. but i do feel that i have been misunderstood. that pple don't really know me.
i'm emotional. i'm sensitive. i've cooped up for too long. bottled everything up. i need to talk. but i have no true friends to talk to. no one i can really confide with. maybe its my fault. i can't trust. but how do you expect me to do that when my circle of trust [to quote the movie meet the fockers - to me it just means close true friends] is constantly broken again and again.. i dunno how to deal with shattered friendships.. i really don't..
i'm a man. so what. i cry. i feel. i hurt. all the same. i'm mun. the mugger. the prefect councilor. so what. i still hurt. i still feel the same way anyone else does.
i still care. that's why i'm still hurting. smarting from it all. that's why i can't let go. but how long will this last? think bout that.. i still value you.. the friendship.. for now. feelings fade. as all of us know. i can't help but ask. are you worth it? just as you did. unbelievably, after all the pain, i still think so. coz i believe that it hasn't been the real you. i've been trying to convince myself that you are who i thought you were. that you are just upset bout the whole thing. bout me. but that's ok. i've been guessing for 2 whole weeks already. i've been in the dark. in the shadow. it's okay. it's okay. it really is.
emotionally scarred. insecure. upset. depressed. confused. shattered. broken.
how am i ever supposed to trust again? to befriend again? to love again?
posted by Matthew Lee at
6:23:00 PM
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