i hate losing

can't say that we actually went in expecting to win anything. but it just sucks. the feeling. terrible. especially when you know you could have done a better job. possibly didn't give it your best shot during preparation.

i'm a sore loser. those who know me would understand why i say that. i hate losing and i love winning. a bad combination by any means.

about roses, oranges and tulips

revolution.

the thrill of upheaval. of change. the adrenaline rush.

rotator cuff

i guess i'm supposed to believe that is Mr Bongard on my tagboard. sure sounds like him but well, i have reason to suspect that it's not. tagboard's aren't exactly very reliable sources of information.

apparently, i pulled my right rotator cuff. possibly during hockey, after a long period of inactivity although it only started hurting like the next morning when i attempted to get off my bed. i dunno. maybe i hurt it while sleeping. ah well. apparently my curved spine problem hasn't like gone away. and apparently, my left shoulder is slightly more protruding than my right one.

i went blog surfing. even though i ought to be prep-ing for rjc humanities quiz and rmun XP pardon me if you ever read this sir. the wealth of knowledge you can attain from blogs is well.. almost overwhelming.

of course, its fun to read friends' blogs too. although that sometimes brings back memories. sometimes undesirable. but well. it's fun. especially when you just don't feel like doing anything.

lost

today, wherever i went, whatever i did, i just felt some deep seated resentment. bitterness.

i spent my afternoon wondering around with my dad. which is pretty cool. read some stuff at borders, walked round cine, bought something from world of sports.

but well, everything i did, everywhere i went, i just felt terrible. there's no longer any inner peace.

the focussed child that i was a year ago is no more. it amazes me how someone or somethings can crush me so completely. utterly destroy me. change me. i'll never be the same again. the me at the end of 2002 - lost, never to be found again.