looking back, i can't really say i let the team down. i was after all really sick. couldn't keep up. but it was just awful. sitting on the bench. watching your teammates giving their all. struggle. i just had that sick feeling in my stomach. that hapless feeling of helplessness. we're all down. but not out. yet. we'll give it our all. even if all the odds seem stacked against us.

i hate falling sick. okay, everyone does. headaches, ear aches, runny nose, sore throat. i'm literally sick and tired. i'm sure many pple are. the weather sucks. the school work isn't helping. the hockey season is upon me. prefectorial duties not easing up.

i'm stuck in this meaningless routine. it's frighteningly paralyzing. each day just seems to echo the previous. beckett was right. waiting for godot is one heck of a play. 3 themes, all spot on here. meaningless existence, paralyzing effect of routine, and the need for human companionship.


Don't touch me! Don't question me! Don't speak to me! Stay with me!

Act 2, Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett

I saw the things that I love in this world. The work and the food and the time to sit and smoke. And I looked at the pen and I thought, what the hell am i grabbing this for? Why am I trying to become what I don't want to be... when all I want is out there, waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am."

Death of a Salesman by the late Arthur Miller

Everytime
Simple Plan

It was 3 a.m. when you woke me up
And we jumped in the car and drove as far as we could go
Just to get away
We talked about our lives
Until the sun came up
And now I'm thinking about
How I wish I could go back
Just for one more day
One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
And everything feels right
Ever since you walked away
You left my life in disarray
All I want is one more day
All I need is one more day with you

When the car broke down
We just kept walkin along
Til we hit this town
There was nothing there at all
But that was all okay
We spent all our money on stupid things
But if I looked back now, I'd probably give it all away
Just for one more day
One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right
Ever since you walked away
My life's been in disarray
All I need is one more day with you

Now I'm sittin here, like we used to do
I think about my life and how now there's nothing I won't do
Just for one more day
One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right (Everything feels right)
Everytime I hear your name
Everytime I feel the same
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right

One more day
Just one more day
It's all I need, just one more day with you

the weather is horrid. my throat is like split down the center and my incessant headaches and earaches just won't go away. sinus is such a terrible thing. i haven't had chocolates for over a weeks. amazing by my standards.. what a bad time to fall sick.. right when hockey season just started. right when the work load is getting heavy.

to all those who tag on my tagboard, i'm not really depressed. that's just me. i like whining. if you haven't already realised. i can't really find any other use for a blog really. i only blog when i'm emotionally unstable after all.. which is a lot of late. but anyway. yeah.

why don't some things just go away?

give me a break. i need a kit kat.


Could you look me in the eye?
would you even say hi?
or is this really goodbye?