blind. before its too late

i was rather curt with someone this morning. somehow, even now, i still feel terrible about it. if you ever read this, i'm sorry. i just can't sort out my thoughts and words.


I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as she turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
My love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

better man. hopefully

i think

it's time to become a better person.

time to move away from all this negativity. to look forward and leave the past where it is - behind.

and i reasoned, that even if my own life is unbearable, tough. it doesn't mean that i can't be a nice person. someone who cares about others.
actually, just to distract myself from the inner turmoil, i guess i ought to channel the hurt to better purposes. perhaps to make sure that pple out there aren't experiencing the same kind of pain in greater or lesser degree.

its time for change.

make a difference

i hunger for something. i don't even know what.

i sit there and yearn. i scroll through everything and anything. memories or webpages. worksheets or journals.

its time to stand up and be counted. sitting there isn't getting me anywhere. its time to start making a difference.

a big L for you.

once upon a time, i prided myself on being a winner.

this year, i feel like the ultimate loser.

halo

take a look at the ordinary
don't have to look for paradise
you could be next to an angel in disguise