asymptote

^%$&

stupid asymptote. so so so close to perfection.. so close to something undefined! oh the dramatic irony... ah!

i suppose i did okay for the exams. honestly felt i probably could have got like maybe a couple marks more here and there for higher chinese, chem, physics, math. ah well. and don't even mention lang arts.

i didn't think i'd be able to break 80% average but well, 82%. i dunno.. ah well. i could have got 84%. but i shan't sulk over it but that also means i shan't be content with myself. there's room for improvement.

i don't think i'll forget the exhaustion of the exertions from preparing for these exams. never again. no more starting to study 1 week before exams. no.

i suppose i ought to be happy. but i'm not. you know something's wrong if you're just sitting there playing comp for the whole day. it's bad. i've got to look for that human part in me. do things i used to do. lived the life i used to live.

i don't think my heart can take much more

out

i didn't want to do it. i don't have to. but enough is enough. out of life.

retrospect

watched revenge of the sith today. from the first row too.. >.< now my neck is killing me. and i've got a splitting headache too. must be the lunch at crepes and cream. too much dairy products there.

well, went bowling in the morning, was okay i suppose.. haven't bowled in ages so i was like rusty. then played pool for an hour or so.. and went to watch the movie.

i somehow managed to wreck my ipod earphones. now i need to get new ones. i saw some cool sony ones.. but they cost like 80 plus bucks.. ah well.

ROTS was well.. comical yet tragic. knew what was coming but it's just tragic all the same. and well, my own emotional state didn't really help. and the fact that my mom was like pissed with me at home meant that i went home feeling really terrible. i dunno. i've been feeling really down for no real reason the past week or so. worst i've ever felt after exams. and it has nothing to do with the exams either.

hopefully i'll have something to cheer about on friday.

nausea

i'm so zoned out that i just took an extra accutane pill >.<

just want to weep. feel helpless. i really can't let go.

so lonely inside, so busy out there
and all you wanted, was somebody who cares

rain.

me and my umbrella
we've been through lots together.

feeling empty. like hollow inside.

drained

i'm totally totally exhausted. drained physically and emotionally. just feeling numb.

i just think i never really picked myself up after december. barely dragged myself through these CTs. crawling through each passing day. but there's no more vigour. no more motivation and no more drive. it's all gone. gone with that whirlwind of events. i feel terrible. terrible coz i can't do what i want to do, what i know i have to do. and terrible coz i know i've let so many pple down, disappointed so many pple.

numb.

fair game

life is totally, absolutely fair. i've been showered with blessings. with luck and fortune. with success in certain areas. but in some others, well, i just get slapped across the face time and again.

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed

tomorrow, i face 750 students. i do what i've haven't been able to do the past 6 months. to face my fears.

the emotional beating isn't helping.

quaint quandary

love and hate.

to hate because you love?

all it takes, is a little forgiveness.

standing still

Cutting through the darkest night in my two headlights
Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here to the twilight
There's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush to my right
But you aren't in sight

Do you want me, like I want you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?

Mothers on the stoop, boys in souped-up coupes on this hot summer night
Between fight and flight is the blind man's sight and the choice that's right
I roll the window down, feel like I'm gonna drown in this strange town
Feel broken down, I feel broken down

Do you need me, like I need you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?

Do you love me, like I love you?